Therapy and Crackers
by darkland
Summary: You could crack the tension on Moya with a bottle and they would still be fighting. Everyone is fighting with eachother except for John and Aeryn WHO are still lovey and dovey, but they have work cut out for them to try and sort the on board fighting that has been occurring. Will the untrained Therapy session suggested by the couple cause even more chaos?
1. Violence just ends up hurting

John Crighten was lonley and angry. Sitting in his quarters, he was pounding his captain's bed with his fists. He and D'argo had another fight and this time it ended up in punch up which saw most of John taking the brutalizied beating. With two black eyes and a bent out of shaped sort of nose , along with cuts and dried blood triggling down his cheeks. D'argo had given him a good beating one of John's back tooth had came flying out when he knocked his head on the floor. John was absolutely packing it in himself, as he thought D'argo was going to put the sword through his back.

But he didn't. He just continued to pound him until he was semi-unconcious.

Chiana and Jool found him about half an arn later on the ground in Pilot's chamber, having walked in their half wounded, half concious and collpasing. Pilot was obviously too busy having his own issues with Moya, to even care about John' problems so he had just left him there to bleed out, although he did chuckle at the human and the way he looked.

It seemed to John, D'argo was always in a mood now and anything he said or did, he would just go after him , looking an excuse for a fight. John just couldn't handle it anymore. The tension between him and D'argo was causing other strain on the others as well. Jool and Chiana were snipping at eachother about Jool's lack of ability to help out with missions or caring about other people, Jool hated the way that Chiana was always talking down to her and always commanding her to do stuff while Aeryn and Chiana were both fighting over the men that they both loved, having a fight about who loved John and D'argo and who had the better relationship. Ever since heading into the Solaris solar system through Starburst everyone seemed to take on more of an attitude and anger problem,. More fights, more broken food and wasted drinking acids. It had been chaotic.

Everyone was fighting. Except Rygel. John noted that. John noted that the small hernaian was smart enough to stay in his own little world, away from everyone and just let everyone else fight their issues. John didn't have a problem with Rygel, except only when it came to missions, so he left him alone on Moya to do his own thing, he won't go after him, and Rygel wouldn't go after him. It was somewhat at an unspoken arrangement.

John looked in the mirror. He hated the cuts and bruises. He felt like he was in high school all over again. Being bullied by the cool kids, and not able to stand up for himself. His dad was right - He was a natural born loser, and it still stuck in his head. He ripped a band aid from his drawyer and covered his bloody marks on his cheekbones. He couldn't wait to get back in D'argo's face again. This time he would stand up to him, make him feel like the loser that he felt all his life.

Somewhere along the line, they all lost trust in eachother. It had been one cycle since the explosive elimination of the peace keepers, and now they had the choice of leaving Moya. At the time, it made sense to travel further together and to harnest the friendship they had built over their time escaping from there, but now they were together and having no bond to keep themselves there but out of pure volunteery sakes so that Moya and Pilot were not alone, the fracture and cracks began to appear in the friendships began to appear. More so notably between John and D'argo first. John thought about how it all started, he reminded himself D'argo was still damaged from his ended relationship with Jool, which only lasted week or so in Alien time. Like Chiana, John thought, Jool didn't want to be controlled and John being the ever nosy guy, decided to tell the big guy, that women are united in one thing no matter where they were in the universe - they hate being told what to do and being treated like a slave and controlled in any fashion that deemed their rights. D'argo took this advice wrongly and accused John of being in love with Jool and wanted her for himself, John of course denied this, and evidently the friendship fell apart and had been like that ever since. The only time they were in the same room together, if they were needed in the pit to fix the transport pods or at the controls in the main area of Moya to detect any enemies following them (which was not very often). Inadvertendly, John has caused Jool and D'argo to break up, D'argo mainly blaming it on John and Jool blaming it on his insecurities and his refusal to see her as a woman instead of just someone willing to do his bidding.

John sat on the bed, looking at a holographic image of him and D'argo in happier times on a planet celebrating the end of Scorpious life an the end of the Peacekeepers. He wished those teams could still be salvaged. He didn't want to continue living on this ship, he wanted a chance to fix it, and he was hoping with Aeryn and PIlot's help they could fix the tension between the others.

As John was attending to his wounds, Aeryn walked in, mumbling to herself about another run in with Chiana. She threw her weapons on the bed and sighed. "I could just kill her John, one more day and bam I am going to snap and snap that little grey neck of hers!"

John turned around and said. "I guess we're talking about Pip"

Aeryn was about to reply when she saw how badly beaten John looked. SHe hurried over to him. "D'argo really went for you didn't he? Look at that face, my poor Crighten! Surprised you're still alive!"

"Thanks, for the vote of confidence , babe." John said giving her a kiss.

"Aww, sorry let me kiss your wounds better. I could use a bit of your face to calm me down." Aeryn replied with a dirty smile as she licked her lips.

John liked the sound of that and they both collapsed onto the bed into eachother's arms.

John sighed as they both disembarked from eachother.

He looked at her and said. "Is there any point of us being here? On this ship anymore?"

Aeryn looked at him, suprised by the question, since he had originally suggested to everyone that Moya and PIlot should continue to have a crew on board, one that would look after them. But John obviously had now seen the affects that the tensions and dynamics had changed and wasn't going to fix itself, so he had become delluted at the thought that it was time to maybe move on.

"I want to settle down, have a family with you." John said as he took her hand and kissed it. "But we can only do that , if I don't end up dead by a a derranged D'argo."

Aeryn looked at him. She turned to her side and put her hand on his chest as she put her other beside her head to help support her posture. She envisioned having a child with John and would have brought up the subject with him at some stage, and was pretty impressed that this human had brought it up with her. "I want a family with you, but John, you said it yourself, friendship is important more than ever with everyone on here, after what happened with earth..."

John closed his eyes. He didn't want to think about the destruction of earth or that events leading up to that disaster, it was always on his mind and he didn't want to go back there again in this particular conversation. He looked at her, tears whelming up in his eyes. She saw this.

"My family and friends are you. And you only. Let's face it, how can we even repair the fractures of the tension that's on Moya? Do you really honestly think I would be suggesting this, if there was hope to fix my friendship with D'argo and everyone else...?" John said. "I may have lost my family and friends back on earth, bu you are my family now and that's all that matters."

"We have to at least try and fix our fractured friendships. IF we fail, we'll go. But we have to at least try." Aeryn looked at him with hope in her eye. Although she hated to admit it, Chiana and Jool were the only constant for her in terms of freindship wise, before everything had fallen apart , they had been somewhat friends and had private conversations. She missed that, and was willing to try and get that back. She had just hoped that John could at least try with D'argo. She knew John. If they had left without trying to fix their friendships, they would both regret, and she knew John would kick himself for it.

John smiled and looked at her. "Okay, you're right. I should at least try again, but there's no reasoning with a mad max!"

Aeryn gave him a weird look. She was amused but obviously confused by his earth references, specifically the "Mad Max" movie.

John laughed. "I'll explain it. We have 80 more cycles left before we die from old age, I will explain all my earth references to you."

Aeryn giggled and jumped up from the bed. "Excellent, now let's bring everyone together in the food quarters. We can make a meal out of it."

More like D'argo was going to make a meal out of me. John thought.


	2. Pilot's chamber:ready to rumble

Aeryn was in the Pilot's chamber with everyone. She was standing beside John while the others were scattered around the chamber. Chianna was sitting far apart from the rest of them. Sitting right at the door, ready to sprint for the door when she had enough of this.

She looked around to see Jool giving her the finger. "See this? Read it!" Chiana just glared at her and pointed at her own body. "See this, this is real! You're jealous princess, because you can't have it! So Frell off!"

Jool glared at her and turned her back torward her. She hated Chiana, everything she said and did lately just annoyed her. She didn't get why she was always on her back. Everyone was unique and different, and Jool knew that bording Mora, was about to cause problems because of the way she dealt with things. However, Jool and Chiana's relationship was just fragmented beyond repair, that she didn't know how else to try and be nice with someone who didn't give respect back, but decided that people had to respect her.

Aeryn looked at D'argo who was glaring at John. He was standing there, still nursing his eye wounds. They were still aching and the colour had turned from black to deep purple, which meant they were about so swell up again. John felt like a truck had hit his eye and it was continuing to pound on him until he fainted, but for the sake of Aeryn's idea, and not risk having a fight with her, he decided that the idea was worth a try. The original idea was to go to into the food room and have a meal and discuss the problems onboard Moya, but Pilot demanded that he see everyone in person, so he could tell them what he really thinks of them. His reasoning

"It's just not the same when you tell it over comm devices, it doesn't have that dramatic effect that you need to sustain a good bitch to your crewmates." John actually liked that , Pilot was dead on the money. When it came bitching about colleagues, in John's line of work, all he had to do was say it to their face and have them fired, because his dad was in upper management, now that wasn't the case. His dad was dead , as was the rest of the human race, so he couldn't go there for a back up on this plan, just in case it all went to frell. D'argo was stomping his foot on the ground and sighing annoyingly. He just hated the Pilot's chamber, and he felt that whatever this was going to be was delaying the inevatable, someone being brutally murdered by the hands of one of them. He was pretty sure that Jool would be the first to die, and if that was, he'd hope Aeryn or Pilot would kill her. That way he could kill John himself. That's how angry he was. Everytime he looked at John in the chamber at the moment, all he could picture was putting some sort of explosive device in his mouth and running off and letting it explode. Aeryn cleared her throat.

She realized they were missing one crewmate. Rygel, "Where is Rygel? Is he not coming?"

John looked at her and smiled. "He is the only one who hasn't got issues with anybody, so it's best to leave him out of this." "He has issues." D'argo arked up. "Just too scared, like you John, to tell us how he really feels."

John looked at D'argo and folded his arms. "I would, but you seem to get some pleasure in beating me up! I've done nothing wrong to you, except be a great friend!"

"Hey, if it's a choice between beating you up, and your little bitch and death, I'd rather take the first option." D'argo screamed. "I hate you!"

Aeryn's mouth dropped open. She put her hands on her hips, obviously not taking indly to D'argo's threat. "Excuse me, did you just call me a bitch?" "I think slut would be more appropriate, considering this is the second time she's you know banging a Crighten." Pilot said with a giggle. "She killed the other one, won't be long before she'll kill this one too."

Aeryn and John both with red races turned around and faced Pilot. John looked angry, but Aeryn looked really upset and suprised by Pilot's comments. Her relationship with the other John, was several cycles ago and he died for the greater good.

"You bastard, of all the times I've defended you, this is how you repay me?" Aeryn asked in a calm voice, trying not to act on her impulse to throw a knife in the side of Pilot's head.

"Wow, what do you know know, Pilot has a backbone?" Chiana asked with a smile. "Looks like he hates you sweetie."

Aeryn glared at Chiana. "Shove it up your woodie."

"Um, not woodie, it's ass. Correct term is ass." John corrected her

. Aeryn turned around to glare at him. "Okay, I get the point! Are we done insulting eachother? Can we like get on with this?" D'argo folded his arms. "Exactly, why are we here? I have more important things to do!"

"Exactly what is that? Planning a murder campaign?" Jool asked with a sneer. She slapped him across the face, but she didn't know why, she just did it because she was angry.

"Go kill Crighten then come after me because you can't accept the fact I have my own mind!"

"Ha, that'll be the day!" Pilot screamed with a laugh.

"You're just an idiot like Chiana." Aeryn covered her mouth to try and keep from laughing.

John looked at Pilot. "Don't hold back, Pilot." John said with suprise.

_This was so unlike Pilot, he was a rather calm and gracious Pilot, not anymore by the looks_ of it, John thought to himself.

"Hey, I am not an idiot! My problem with Jool, is that she does not help out with anything around. She expects everything done for her. Hence the term princess and for the record Pilot, I'm not an idiot. You are." Chianna screamed."Don't make me come over there and slap you!"

"You're just a bitch." Pilot said as he continued to maintain his calm and Moya's controls.

"No, you are!" Chiana screamed as she walked up to him slowly.

"BItch." Pilot said again, this time snickering to himself. _I love this._ He thought. _I'm only doing this because it seems fun. Can't wait to see how Crighten will react when I pick him next_.

"SHUT UP!" Chiana screamed as she slapped her hands on his controls.

"Don't have a burp?" Pilot said looking at Crighten. "Is that the correct term?"

"No." John said as he looked back and forward between the two. "It's 'don't have a cow man'."

Chiana growled. "Fuck you Crighten. Is that how you say Frell off in english?"

"Don't have a cow Chiana, it might get stuck when giving birth." Pilot teased.

She covered her eyes. No longer going to get anywhere with Pilot

. She looked at D'argo. "What the frell are you looking at you mutt?"

D'argo grabbed her by the neck. "I can just snap your neck!"

"I can kick you in the crutch before you do! Want me to try?" Chiana screamed lifting up her leg, getting ready to kick D'argo where the solar space skies didn't shine.

D'argo let go of her neck straight away. "No, no , no, but thanks though."

Aeryn whistled. She had enough of this. She screamed. "Alright, enough! Let's all just take a breather! The whole point of this is to discuss the problem on Moya. We are all in a rutt and we're all taking it out on eachother. John was resistant to the idea that we try and sort this out, but I want to at least try and see if we can sort out any problems that we have. There is a lot of fighting here and it has to stop. We've been friends for a long time. We're allies. We don't want to be enemies, do we?"

John smiled at his beautiful wife. "Good speech."

"Shut it, husband." Aeryn commanded.

"Sorry." John said as sat back on the controls.

"Commander Crighten, is she going through her you know her period, like you always say when you hide out from her when she's moody?" Asked Pilot.

John's face turns bright red.

Aeryn giving him a death stare, she folds her arms and looks at him.

"Oh my god, marriage squabble!" Jool looked on in excitedly."I heard about these, it usually ends up the husband being killed."

"In rare occassions, it's always the wives." D'argo said as he smiled at the onset.

"Trouble in paradise. Bring on the action." Chiana giggled.

John looked at Aeryn. "You can bash me later, I've had enough bashing for today."

"Oh, don't you worry, we'll be exchanging more then just bashing." Aeryn said. "It's not a threat, it's a promise."

John looked at Pilot. "Thanks alot , big mouth." "Any time commander." Pilot said with a giggle.


	3. An innocent cat fight

John and Aeryn were walking briskly back to their quarters, to get ready for the untrained therapy session planned in the food room. Aeryn decided it would be best if the atmosphere would be done away from the Pilot, after the trouble he stirred up at the gathering to discuss the on going and esculating tensions amongst them.

It took nearly a arn and a half to calm Chiana and Jool down who were aguying about why they had to spend more time in the same room if the other wasn't going to apologize. D'argo pushed John into the door on his way out and said nothing, but nonetheless they all agreed that the tension on Moya was getting too much and that anything was the worth a try.

However there was one problem with this plan that none of the took into consideration. Who was a qualified Phyciatrist? Who in their right mind would try and sit down the moya crew and try to work out their differences?

John's thoughts were thinking made perfect sense. Rygel has not caused much trouble in the last six months, and he only cared about food, not anything else. In John's mind it made perfect logic.

As they walked down another corridor, Aeryn spoke up. "Just so you know I am not that moody."

"Okay." John said, avoding to get into a fight with his wife. He figured he was in trouble already with Aeryn for telling Pilot about hiding out, why make it even more worse. His mind screamed - ALERT. DON'T TAKE THE BATE. SHE'S ENTRAPPING YOU.

Aeryn frowned. "Is that it? I'm not going to get any strange earth sayings or an argument from you?"

John looked at her with those blue eyes, her heart melted as soon as he gave his goffy grin. "I figure I'm in enough trouble already."

Aeryn shook her head and giggled. "Good, you're slowly learning what marriage is about.I'm the leader and you're the slave."

John rolled her eyes. And then turned and said. "So, what about this idea, having Rygel being the therapist?"

Aeryn looked at him. She thought the idea was ingenious, in fact, Rygel would most certainly use the problems between everyone for his selfish deeds but she didn't know what the frell therapy was. Neither did the rest of the team, John had basically said - "It's where you talk things out without being interrupted."

"I am still not convinced Rygel is our best option." Aeryn said. "He'll have all our dirty secrets and arguments and will most likely sometime in the future or even next week at the earliest, use it against us. The idea has some flaws in it."

"Well who else do you want to get there? Clearly, PIlot is not up to the job, did you see the way he was playing us in the chamber moments ago? He's a swifty bastard."John said shaking his head, still in disbelief at PIlot's behaviour. "No one way I'm airing my dirty secrets and feelings to him to only have it mocked back at me."

Aern nodded. "Totally in agreement with you there. Well we could always ask Zhann and Stark?"

John nodded. "True that, but they left Moya because of exactly this, hence why they're trailing behind us on Tayln, because they couldn't handle our fights."

"Well John, we have to have some neutral! I'd rather ask Zhann and Stark, then Rygel. Because that dominar slyme toad can't be trusted with this sort of problem." Aeryn shouted. "Let's just ask Zhann and Stark, please?"

John smiled. He loved it when Aeryn got passionate about her infurious feelings towards Rygel, he knew that hynarian always pushed her buttons. "Okay, let's talk to them."

Moments later they were in their quarters, sitting on the bed talking to Zhann on the comm channel. They could hear her laugh.

Aeryn and John looked at eachother.

John sighed. "What's so funny?"

"After all this time, you need my help? You have some nerve." Zhann said in a stern voice. In the talyn command post she was giving the comm speaker the rude finger.

"Yeah..nerve.. screw off!" Stark screamed, causing John and Aeryn to sigh and to jump back form the comm device.

"Look , Zhann, you are probably more wiser then any of us here at the moment. You have more wisdom then a trolly at the local zoo." John remarked. "You're more patient with these sorts of problems, you can help see reason and help us get our friendships back on track."

Zhann giggled. "It's amazing you all aren't dead yet. Besides I don't think I can travel that much in my condition. Being pregnant and all."

John's face lit up when he heard the word 'pregnant'. "You're pregnant?"

"Who did that to you?" Aeryn asked. A question which resorted a "what the frell" look from her husband.

"Really, Aeryn?" Asked John.

Aeryn shrugged. "I didn't know half-face had it in him."

"I heard that you ...you... rude person!" Zhann screamed through the comm speaker. "Screw, helping you now. Sorry John, you guys are on your own."

The communication with the Tayln ship ceased immediately. John clapping and giving his wife a look of anger and confusion, continue to clap.

"Well done, Wifey." John said aloud. "Looks like you screwed that up. Now it looks certain we'll have to go to Rygel, well done."

He then left the room, obviously not amused that he would have to now resort to Rygel, although he had his own apprenhions about it now that he thought about what Aeryn said.

Aeryn sighed. "Sometimes, I really wish I had stayed a peacekeeper. I'd rather take death, then all this frell."

"Fuck you!" A voice screamed from the corridor.

She turned around to see Chiana standing there. "What the frell are you standing there for?"

"You want to say that to my face? You think you're better then me because you're married now to John, and you have some sort of insight into his head! Think you're better then me because you have a husband and I don't! IS that it you black hair sebaccian?" Chiana started jumping up on their bed. "Well I'm ruining that by jumping on your bed with my dirty feet. Oh yeah! FEELS SO GOOD! VIolating the bed that you and John sleep in! Yeah feels so good!"

"Get off my bed now you deranged child!" Aeryn screamed. "Don't make me come up there!"

Chiana laughed as she continued to jump and down this , moaing excitedly. "oh what are you going to do to me? I'm jumping on the bed! It's not a crime you know!"

"Get off my frelling bed Chiana! NOW!" Aeryn screamed, her blood boiling and her anger rising. She couldn't wait to slap this Narbi around with her firsts. She needed a good smack.

"NO! I like it up here! You can't touch me! NAH NAH NAH!" Chiana screamed as she laughed. "Lick this!"

She jumped around and stuck her bottom in front of Aeryn's face and slapped it.

"Oh that's it, you are finished!" Aeryn screamed as she charged for her. She grabbed Chiana byt he legs, and she pulled her down, Chiana screamed as she fell onto the bed. Aeryn climbing on top of her - giving her a few hard punches before Chiana screamed and kicked her in the stomach.

THe girls got up from the floor and started pulling at eachother's hair.

"I am not derranged! I'm not a child! I'm Chiana, I deserve to be respected! Ever since you married that human-basketcase, you have been treating me with contempt because I am not married!" Chiana said as she ripped out chunks of Aeryn's hair.

Aeryn screamed. "You, mallock frell woman!"

She then charged at Chiana and head butted her, knocking her out, Chiana falling onto the bed.


	4. Murderous rage and failed seductions

John and Rygel were setting up the food room. Rygel was helping himself to some of the rations that they had set up. John turned around and screamed.

"Put it back, food snatcher!" John ordered.

Rygel blinked. "But I'm hungry..."

John smiled and nodded. "You know the deal, Rygel, help us with our issues and if it all goes well you then get food."

Rygel threw food block back onto the plate. Not happy with it, but he decided it was worth playing along.

John sighed. "Should we put Chiana and Jool together?"

"Are you out of your mind? One of them is about to kill the other! Maybe seperate them for now." Rygel suggested."Let's avoid that until after the show."

"Now, Pilot..."John said into his comm device. "Are you happy to ears drop?"

"Of course, Commander. Moya and I have set up 18 RDOS in the room." Pilot enthusiastically said.

John rolled his eyes. "Why do you need that many?"

"Moya wants to ensure that she is not being seduced." Pilot said unsurely. "No, I don't think that's the word, you say it all the time though, Comamnder."

"Screwed?" John guessed.

"That's the word, Commander. I love you." PIlot said with the emphasise on the word as his voice said the word "I love you" in a dreamingly tone.

John looked blankly at the comm device, not sure on how to respond to PIlot's weird behaviour. He looked at Rygel who just covered his eyes.

"Why do I get the feeling that this is going to end badly?" Rygel asked.

"Why woudln't you think it would end good? Anything Commander Crighten suggets, usually blows up in our faces. Let alone Moyas." PIlot agreed.

Rygel snickered.

John just slapped his head. "What is this pick on me day?I'm trying to get this crew together, to try and talk out the problems. Is that so bad?"

"But what if it doesn't according to plan?" Asked PIlot.

Rygel looked at John intensely.

John's face dropped. "Well, Pilot. Then I guess we will have no choice but go our seperate ways. I don't know how much longer I can take much more of the fighting. Neither can Aeryn."

'Speaking of your wife, Commander, are you still in the dog house with Aeryn-Sun?"Pilot asked, trying not to laugh.

John smiled. "You did that on purpose didn't ya, back there in the chamber, betraying my confidence...?"

"Sure. If you put it like that. I did it, because you're cute." Pilot snickered. "Well Moya thinks your cute."

"Tell Moya, I'm married. But I love her too." John laughed. He liked this. It seemed that he could maintain a very good working relationship with Pilot and Moya. Although Pilot was showing his swifty side, John still could talk to him. He was a softy at heart and thats what John liked about Pilot. He could be anything you want him to be, wise-guy, smart-pilot or just a bastard. But it didn't offend him, it just confused John sometimes, but he and Moya were a team and they obviously liked doing stuff like this. But John knew that the crew needed to get back on track, and if they didn't then Pilot and Moya would have to find a new crew. John was reassured by Pilot and Moya that they were happy to kick the other leechres off the ship, but John felt that it would be best that everyone went.

Jool was on tier 1 adjusting her skirt. She had found it on one of the sebaccian planets half a cycle ago and was trying to adjjust it to meet her leg eneds. SHe hated anything that touched her leg below the knee, so she used Zhann's medic tools without her permission to harnest the skirt for her perfect body.

The colour was orange and red. She loved those two colours and it suited her well. It perfectly described her personality, peaceful and angry when riled. Which she felt more often on Moya with Chiana always on her back. Jool thought about the first time she tried to make peace with the snortfil bitch, and it backfired on her. Chiana made a pact with her to be nice to her, but that just went out of the water after Jool stole a piece of her hair for analysis to see if she was infact a 28 year old cycle physcotic Narabi, not a 17 cycle old one trying to pretend to be a good respectable alien being. Jool's condemnation of her only strengthened when the tests confirmed that she was who she said was. This upon the fact that Chiana never liked her, the tension just grew.

Jool put the dress on thinking about how to kill Chiana if the therapy thing didn't work out. She thought about stabbing her on the insides, or maybe in the two eyes and make her differently enabled to the rest of the Moya crew. Both had it's perks, Jool would be seen as a goddess and probably a heroine on board by everyone and Chiana would have to bend down on her knees to her every desires and commands. Jool fantazied about Chiana doing that, and Jool being John's queen. Side by side they'd kill them all.

Jool snickered at the thought. She touched the dress. She smiled and said to no one in particular. "I'm a pretty woman, with big dreams. DREAMS TO GET RID OF CHIANA, HAHAHAHAH!"

The hidious laugh echoed throughout the ship. She then started choking on her own saliva.

She screamed into her comm device. "Chiana just made me choke on my saliva! Someone put her in a cell! She's on murderous rampage! Oh no, suffocating!"

On the other end, Pilot was just rolling his eyes. "You have mental issues, Jooiska."

"Fuck you PIlot!" Jool screamed back into the comm. "Are you willing to let me die so you can get off on seeing the crewmates in pain?"

"Possibly." Pilot replied back in a serious tone, trying not to laugh at Jool's precadiment.

D'argo was in his quarters pounding his pillow when Aeryn approached him.

She yelled. "Hey!"

D'argo turned, drawing his sword. He pointed it torward her neck.

"Are you coming to the therapy session or not?" Aeryn asked as she folded her arms, not entirely convinced that D'argo was about to slice her throat. Even if he did, she knew John would slice him back. D'argo stomped his foot on the ground.

"Since when do you and your John call group meetings and suggest ideas around here? I don't see the point of this!" D'argo retorted back, poking out his tongue, nearly hitting Aeryn with it. "Maybe it's best if we all went our seperate ways. You certainly made sure John did that."

Aeryn looked at D'argo. He was still jealous over John's and Aeryn's relationship. He was angry that John had been spending less time with him. She knew the luxon had anger issues, but she never thought his relationship with John was anything but a domesticated partnership between the pair. The two often clashed, but she didn't consider the Luxon's acception of John's friendship welcome unless it was something to gain for his way to get home. Aeryn looked into his eyes. She had the Luxon all wrong. He had no other friends on the ship. He certainly screwed over Zhann, Stark, Rygel, Pilot and Jool. And now John.

He hated it here. Aeryn realized.

"I always thought you detisted John." Aeryn said calmly.

"What? Are you insane? Oh wait you were a peacekeeper, so that explains the illogical thinking. I don't have to sit here and listen to a woman trying to work out my issues. Go and play with John. Your little toy." D'argo angrily said. He hated being analysed, it made him feel angry and worthless at the same time. He started to head out the room.

Aeryn said. "Okay, well I'll be using this in the therapy session. If you don't want to discuss it privately. You won't be able to get away from this. John needs to hear you say it. How do you think he's gonig to feel that all this time you were just pretending to be his friend? HMm? And how are you going to explain your jealousy that you can't have me?"

D'argo looked at her taken aback by what she just said, especially the last part. "You say any of this in front of the group later, I will kill you and make it look like Rygel consumed you in his three stomachs and what the frell are you on about at the last park? Me want you? Are you nuts?"

"Come on big mummy. I think that's the word that Crighten uses." Aeryn said, trying to seduce him by licking his hand. "Let's just admit the truth, and make the frell something up when you have to speak at the therapy session."

D'argo scratched his head. "You truly have lost your marbles. I guess you and John have do belong together.'

He then walked away whispering into the comm device. "Hey John, guess what you just did to me! Well lack of trying to do, this is hillarious..."

"You tried to seduce D'argo?" John cried out in fits of laughter an arn later as everyone was sitting around the food table. Rygel eagerly waiting to consume the promised food.

Aeryn shot D'argo a glare.

"Hey, it was pretty funny." D'argo said. "What kind of a peace keeper says big 'mommy'? It's big 'daddy'."

Everyone burst into laughter at that, making Aeryn feel quite embarrassed.

John couldn't contain his laughter, he was on the laughing like there was no tomorrow. "What's even more funny she said big mommy! Brilliant!"

"Oh shutup John!" Aeryn banged her hands on the table. "Can we get this started?"

"Yes, please. Moya is feeling rather hormonial. She would like to pass that by attacking Talyn, so let's get a move on this." Pilot said through the comm device.


	5. Therapy

The Moya crew were sitting around the table with Rygel sitting in the middle. He had his chair confiscated from John, just in case he tried to makea break for the door or for any of the food that hung out by the entrance. Rygel licked his little green lips as he watched everyone silently knibble on their food. The chef of the ship, who was barely seen, had cooked a funtogama salad combine the colors, red with black and white. Producing alot of whining form John, who thought it tasted like a rotten corpse.

John spat out rest of the food from his mouth, he felt like throwing up. So he did. on Rygel.

Rygel was dripping with yellow vomit. Everyone was laughing.

"Frell you, Crighten." Rygel muttered.

"Sorry." John apologized. "That meal was really horrible."

"Your face is horrible." Chiana sneered.

"I'm allergic to it." D'argo joined in. "I'm also sick of Crighten telling us what to do."

"So am I, sister." Jool agreed. "Whatever this therapy is, maybe we should get him to spill his own feelings."

"John, tell us are you a fragot?" D'argo asked meaningly. John didn't know what that meant, but he took it as an insult from D'argo.

John stuck up his rude finger at D'argo and gave him a look of anger. Aeryn sighed.

D'argo slammed at his hand on the table. "Don't you insult my mother like that! You take that back right now!"

While Rygel was cleaning himself off with some old rags John had brought into the food room, John looked up and sighed. He just nodded his head and ignored D'argo. John was better than that, responding to D'argo's anger was what Aeryn warned him about. So he decided to let it be.

"Ha! Come on! BRing it on!" D'argo screamed pounding his own chest like an Earth animal creature.

"Keep it up monkey man, may have to get Rygel to commit you." John said , not meaning it as an insult.

Rygel looked at D'argo as he got the spew off his face. "I feel sick just by seeing you mock my ancestors."

"SInce frell did you care about your ancestors?" Jool snapped.

"SHUT THE FRELL UP ALL OF YOU!" Aeryn slammed her hand on the table. "Can we get this session started, before I kill someone?"

Everyone muttered under their breathes.

A half an hour later, after John explained how the therapy session works, they decided to draw straws on who would be the first to spill their guts to the crew. It ended up being Chiana. She sat on the table across from Rygel. Rygel was staring at her.

"Okay. So bitch, why are you angry?" Rygel asked.

Chiana burst into tears. "No one likes me anymore!"

"I never liked you, if that feels any better."Jool announced quite proudly, boosting about her hatred for her crewmate.

Chiana looked at Jool as she cried. "Frell you, Jool."

"No thanks." Jool retorted.

Rygel put a hand on Chiana's leg. "Why do you think everyone hates you?"

"It's because she can't keep her hands off other people's children." D'argo screamed. "She's a child stealer!"

"I am not! What happened with FrogFace is not my fault - he totally seduced me!" Chiana screamed.

"Hey, one of the rules is that we don't interrupt the person's therapy. Can you save the audio commentary for later?" John interrupted.

Chiana and D'argo stared at eachother angrily.

"Look Rygel, I think people don't get me because I Am not like them. I don't have experience in killing other beings to steal their information, I'm a simple narabi who just likes to travel. No one wants to hear my thoughts or feelings on certain issues. Take Aeryn for instance. SHe wasn't going to go through her marriage to John because she felt like she had nothing to prove. I advised her on this and she said 'Chiana you and D'argo couldn't even sustain a 1 cycle relationship, what makes you think I would want to hear your advice.'. I was so gutted when she said that. It made me feel small. I didn't think she could be so cruel to someone who just wanted to help her out on her wedding day."

She sniffled back tears. "Oh and then there is John. Why didn't he love me? I mean I loved him. He wasn't with Aeryn at the time, but I could sense some attraction between the both of us and I Really wanted to root him. But he didn't want me to do him, like I wanted him to do me. I mean who in their right mind wouldn't turn down someone wanting to rub them until they-."

"Okay!" John interrupted, quite embarrassed. Aeryn couldn't help but snicker at the though that her husband could have been having sex with Chiana. "I don't think they need the details, Chiana."

"Chiana, we know you are a sex addict." Rygel giving his professional opinion. He was loving this role. He was making mental notes as to when to use this information against Chiana later on. "It's the one of the things that got you into trouble in the first place on your home planet. You frelled the queen's grandson for arns at a time. You killed him. His organs ceased. Maybe John didn't want to die like that. Maybe he wanted to..you know... live. Not everyone wants to be a whore's slave."

John giggled. "Only I serve Aeryn."

Chiana sighed depressingly. "After he rejected me, I felt so low."

"You normally don't have self esteem issues?" Rygel asked. "Is that why you hooked up with the lexon and his ugly son?'

"Pretty much." Chiana said. "I thought he knew the deal, I only just wanted sex, but then he started talking about settling down, screwing me for a baby and playing home on a planet, I got scared. I'm not that type of girl."

"So you frelled up his son then?" Rygel asked, taking notes. "In these circumstances I normally would hear you out and then diagnose you, but I can tell you that you are suffering from a mental disorder."

"Really?" Aeryn asked. "It explains alot of things."

"Shutup." Rygel snapped. "Chiana, I think you have what it is called bicoular-biopear disease. It's where you experience hightly intense and low sex periods. From your description you have had many many erotic episodes which have caused pain for the people around you."

Chiana looked stunned. "I only thought the male species get that disease?"

"Nope." Rygel said. "Affects males and females speices from all different races. Including our human over here. I can prescribe you something that may help you."

"Really?" Chiana asked hopeful. "Doc, I don't want to feel like this anymore."

"Commit suicide. It has a 100% success rate. Especially with narabi's and fat scanions." Rygel suggested. "Now would you like to pass away? Death by Crigtens Wyona gun or would you like to be choked to death?"

"That's your idea of helping in a therapy session? Killing your patients?" John slammed the table, obviously not happy. He didn't think Rygel was taking this seriously, from his point of view, he noticed Rygel was having fun with it.

"I'd like to see you do a frelling better job!" Rygel cried.

"Maybe I will,buckweed if you don't do it properly. Advising a patient to commit suicide is grounds for a lawsuit and a disbarnment back on earth. In this galaxy, may mean your execution if you are not careful. Choose your next path carefully, sparky." John warned, giving him back hand across the head.

Rygel growled. "Ouch. Who's next?"

"I'd say John should go, since he's always so angry with me all thet ime." D'argo sneered. "Come on, let's hear it."

"FIne. But you don't know me from jack to apple."John said as he sat on the desk.

"I hate it when you say these weird earth sayings, can't you just be normal for once!" D'argo screamed standing up.

John looked at him and grabbed Rygel by the ears. "HIt him first before you hit me!"

"Put me down you S.O.B!" Rygel screamed. "Are we going to start your therapy session now or not!'

Everyone looked at John and D'argo, waiting for them to cool their tempers down. John sat back down on the table with Rygel in his lap.

Rygel looked at him uncomfortable. "I don't feel comfortable sitting with that wiggly thing pushing into my back."

"Trust me, Rygel , you'd know if it was pointing in you." John said.

Aeryn and the others groaned in disgust.

D'argo covered his eyes. "This is worse then seeing Chiana naked! and Jool's four breasts!"

"Hey!" Chianna and Jool screamed. "Our bodies are perfect thanks!"

"I feel like I'm going to throw up after hearing what you just said honey bunny." Aeryn said. "Can we just get on with it?"

"Good idea." Rygel said. "Now, what brings you to my house of therapy Mr Cretin?"

John rolled his eyes. "Crighten."

"Well my receptionist said you were Cretin, I'm just going by what she wrote." Rygel said with a slight smile. "Now, what can I help you with?"

John smiled. "Oh, boy! Doc, I have some issues and alot of them for you to help me sort out!"

"Oh great, we're going to be here all night with 's problems." Pilot's voice suddenly echoed. "Can you wake me up if I pass out?"


	6. It's John's Turn

John was on the table cross legged. Forcing Rygel to sit in between his legs. Everyone in the room was snickering, it was of thoe scenes in the moya crew's day to day lives that just godsmacked them. It was hillarious in a way, to redirect the tension that was filling up the room. However John's pain was much worse then any one else could have imagined. And his session was going to be quite a eye opener for them. He had what he wanted to say , how he was going to say it and how it would cause a ripple effect between everyone and the dismantled relationships. It wasn't exactly like he was going to go into this blinded. He knew how he was going to achieve some sort of peace between everyone. GIve them his wholel life story.

However, that didn't go into according to plan when he just suddenly burst into tears.

Rygel looked straigh ahead. "I swear, I didn't do anything."

"HIs man-horn is in you, maybe you did something to that?" Jool said. "Should we get the med cart?"

"Shutup, you brazlocks." Rygel said. "Crighten, what's wrong? Tell Uncle Rygel your troubles."

D'argo rolled his eyes. "Cry baby."

John wiped his eyes with his sleeves, managing to turn Rygel around. Rygel patted his legs.

"D'argo, shutup." Aeryn warned.

D'argo slapped tongued her and she fell off her chair, falling to the ground.

"Want to tell me to shutup again?" D'argo screamed getting up.

John looked at D'argo and at Aeryn as they got up. "You guys finished, having a emotional moment here."

"Which is quite fucked." Jool said. "Your usually tough as cum."

John looked at her weirdly.

Jool threw him a look. "Oh wait, you don't know what cum is."

"Yes I do, on my planet it's...something that..." John tried to explained, his face going red. "Wow let's just say it really helps with an orgasm."

"Oh on my planet it means formidable weapon with lightning coming out of it." Jool said. "Do continue."

"Well we can always describe that on my planet." John thoughtfully said.

"John, for frell sake - can we get on with this! You were crying, I demand to know why you buckweed!" Rygel screamed.

"Okay, okay." John said. "Well I miss Aeryn already. Being only metres away from her makes me glad I didn't get it on with Zhann."

Everyone looked at eachother, quite shocked at John's revelation.

Aeryn was even more suprised. "You better hope in frell that you frollicked with her before we exchanged wedding vowels. Otherwise I'm going to come over there and chop off your man-horn.'

John looked at her. "Listen, sweety. I didn't exactly say that I did anything. Besides I think she drugged me, because I was half unconcious for most of it."

"What do you mean?" Jool asked. "This is highly immoral and disgusting from such a plant-priest. How dare she violate a being! On my planet we'd chop off her head."

"Can we chop yours off?" Chiana teased. "I want to use your neck as a rack."

"Frack off!" Jool said biting Chiana's arm.

"BIATCH!" Chiana screamed slapping her across the face, looking at the wound that Jool placed on her. It wasn't bleeding but the area where she had bitten her. Chiana bruised easily, and the area was starting to turn purple and orange.

"Okay, she drugged me. I felt violated and I didn't tell anyone because well... I thought it was a dream." John said rather sadly. "I didn't even think she was capable of doing such a thing. She opened my heart to her friendshipand when I thought I was dreaming, or what was experiencing...I now know why alter boys hate priests."

"Cleary she's evil , she must be stopped." D'argo rolled his eyes. "John, you're a man from Earth. Instead of winging about it, why don't you violate her back, out of anger?"

"Uh, no..." John said shaking his head. "Clearly you haven't heard of the karma's a bitch or the fact that I still believe in the law, that if you do a crime then you do the crime."

"How did she well swindle you, if you may ask?" Rygel asked.

"She has alot of drugs in that room of hers. Come to think of it, I was in Tayln with Crais when it happened." John said thoughtfully. "The point is though, these kinds of things, I thought weren't going to happen to me anymore. I went through alot when I was a kid, and...with earth being destroyed, I never really got to air my problems to someone."

John looked sadly at Rygel. Rygel blinked at him.

No one spoke for a moment, taking in what Joh had to say. Then D'argo spoke up.

"Excuse me, but are we going to even listen to this dribble? I thought the whole point of this session was to try and reach common ground. I could be back in my room playing with my Chianna , Rygel, Aeryn and John dolls and come up with a better therapy session than this." D'argo rose up. "I say be gone with this idea of yours. I hate you all. and I want out."

John sighed. "Look, see what I Mean, what did I ever do to you, to make you hate me so much D'argo? Whether you realize it or not, I AM STILL your friend and will be, but you have to tell me why you are always this cold towards me. I also want to know why the frell you have dolls of me,aeryn and Chiana and sparky over here?"

Aeryn was giggling to herself. "This is brilliant!"

D'argo bowed his head in shame. "When under stress or angry, I make dolls."

"Isn't that what the female spieces did on your planet, John?" Jool asked, quite astonished. "How on earth did you become a female. D'argo?"

D'argo growled and gave Jool a dirty look.

He sat back down on the couch, realizing that he had just made himself an easy target for his on therapy session. D'argo looked at John. "Please, continue."

"Moya is loving this. Please continue. I'm loving this also. Thank god the RDO's are recording this and uploading it to moya's memory banks. Hehe!" Pilot giggled.

John shook his head. "Can we get back to me please?"

Rygel cleared his throat. "John, are you telling us that what that blue plant bitch did to you, happened to you when you were on erp?"

"Earth." John corrected.

"Or Erp." Rygel said. "If so , then why not share with it us, could explain why you were such a grouch when you first boarded the ship."

"And why you wouldn't sleep with me when I asked you point straight out that I wanted to sleep with you." Aeryn said thoughtfully. "I always thought it was because I Was so not attractive to you."

"Oh, you're flaming hot!" John said to his wife. "You're beautiful honey! No it's just I've had a lot of people put me down all my ife, verbally and physically , it's just when Zhann did that to me, I felt like I was back on earth again, when my own sense of pride and self worth had been demoralized thrown down the drain. Look I was beaten up in high school by other kids, beaten up father, i lost a part of myself because I didn't know how to deal with it. When I joined the space program and felt that I had belonged in a team.I felt safe. Felt at home."

John sighed again visibbally shaking. "Then meeting Zhann, she helped me adjust to you creatures. Well not sure what happened or why she did what she did but I'm questioning whether she liked me as a friend."

"Wait a minute you said she drugged you and did stuff to you?" D'argo asked confusingly. "And your worried about being likedl?I can't work out how your brain or your voice box works , John."

"I can't help it if I need everyone to love me. Love you, Aeryn." John said blowing her a kiss.

"You have nacoposite complex. Means you're into yourself." Jool said.

"Just like you are." Chiana remarked putting her hand on Jool's hair.

Jool began screaming loudly.

Everyone covered their ears. The piercing of Jool's screaming piercing into their ear drums like a cat crying out for it's demented food box.


	7. Pilot is mad and Jool gets stabbed

Pilot was listening in his chamber as everyone started bickering over eachother. He shrugged and sighed. He and Moya were unimpressed. The whoel crew were not even remotely interested in finishing off the therapy session that John had planed. Moya felt really hurt that her friends were not getting along. She felt sad and she didn't know why they people inhabiting her insides of the ship were not being peaceful with one another. It had gotten to the extreme point that she had told Pilot that she wanted to just end her life. Pilot agreed with her that this was getting beyond the joke. He had told her off screen that "maybe it was time to say goodbye."

Pilot appeared through the comm screen in the food room. He gasped when he saw Jool lying unconcious and bleeding from a stab wound beside John. Everyone was still fighting. "Commander Crighten! Commander D'argo!"  
His voice had shrilled through the comm audio speakers at alarming loudness. Everyone turned around to see Pilot's face fuming.  
John threw Rygel on the ground. Rygel making a snuffling grunt as he picked himself up.  
"Pilot, what's wrong?" Asked John, obviously catching the angrish tone in his friend's voice.  
"You all seem to have not noticed that Jool is on the floor bleeding from a stab wound." Pilot angrily said. "You're all so...so...infuriating. I believe Moya and I have seen enough. We want you to go frell and stay there."  
He then dissapeared from the comm screen.  
John, Aeryn and Chiana looked to see Jool lying by John bleeding from her stomach. She clearly was unconcious and the blood was treakling by John's feet.  
"Chiana, what did you do?" John screamed in horror as he bent downt o check on Jool's vitals. He barely felt her pulse. "We need to get her to the medic bay. She's loosing alot of blood, I baely can feel her pulse."  
"I didn't do it! Why does everybody think I did it?" Chiana screamed as she helped John carry Jool to the medic bay.  
"You had more reason than everybody else, you bimbo." Rygel screamed. "If she dies, I'll forever hunt you."  
"Oh frell off, you never even liked her!" Chiana screamed.  
Chiana and Rygel started slapping eachother.  
D'argo had to split both of them apart before they did any more damage."Okay enough. We're all hurting here. Come on let's all just leave her to bleed to death and try and sort out our issues?"  
"That's your solution, to let her die?" Pilot asked. "She's apart of the crew."  
"Not for long." D'argo snickered. "Frell, if she kept her mouth shut, then this thearpy session would have worked."

In the med bay John, D'argo and Aeryn were hooking up the unconscious Jool to some vital machinery. The wound had somewhat been healed, but she was still unconcious.  
"May she rest in peace." D'argo preyed.  
John gave him a look. "You dated this thing, you want her dead?"  
"Well...yeah. I have issues with her." D'argo said. "Come on John, if the shoe was on the other foot, she would wish the exact same thing."  
"First of all nobody wants to be in your foot." John said. "And second of all, I have class. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy."

D'argo just rolled his eyes. "Yeah well she is more trouble then she's worth. I don't see why you had to bring her on this ship when we went down to the Nagook planet."

"Hey shave saved my life. You were about to hand me off to Scorpius." John yelled back.

"Can you guys shutup?" Aeryn asked.

"We would have picked you up a few solar days later." Rygel said. "We had a plan."

"Oh yeah some plan you had. Clearly you're a dumb luxon." John snapped.

"You want to go with me John?" Asked D'argo. "I'm ready to slap face you with my tongue. Just throw the first punch so I can knock you back on your human ass."

"ALRIGHT!" Pilot screamed through the comms channel. "You're behaving spoilt little children! Specifically untrained peacekeepers! Can you all just shut up, for one solar day. All this bickering is giving Moya and I cramps."

"Lady cramps?" John asked.

"Something I'd rather not discuss in such public nastiness." Pilot snapped back." Just can we all concentrate on Jool. How are her vitals?"

"Can't say either way." John said as he glared at D'argo then giving him the rude human finger. D'argo snapped back by doing the exact same.

"You can't say because you haven't looked or you don't know how to rad Zhann's med bay screens?" Pilot asked.

Aeryn sighed. "Pilot she's fine. She's still unconscious. Her vitals are not too bad, but I will keep a close eye on them. She did lose a lot of blood. Probably a containers full."

"Hope she dies." Chiana muttered.

Aeryn growled. "That's not helping."

"Hey it's helping me." Chiana responded back shrugging. "We all can't like everybody."

John and D'argo stepped aside as now Chiana and Aeryn were about to have a head to head clash.

Aeryn walked over to Chiana and stood in her face. "I knew therapy wouldn't work on a nerabi. You're too stupid."

"Excuse me?" Chiana asked angrily. "I'm not stupid."

"You're stupid. Selfish and an overcrazed sex maniac that has not heard of the phrase - tone it down." Aeryn said as she spat in Chiana's face.

"Nor the term. 'Sexual harassment'." John muttered.

"Shutup, John." Aeryn eyed him. She turned back to Chiana. "You are a pathetic crew mate. So pathetic, that whenever we want you help you run and hide away like a pathetic little narabi. You're useless. At least Jool has proven herself to us on Moya. She's helped us on many missions. You come along, screw the nearest male you can find and we end up cleaning after your mess. Chiana, if you don't shutup I am going to stab you not only once but several times in your privates, leaving you rather endless damaged for any kind of sexual activity. Now be a good girl and keep your mouth shut. Or get the frell out of the med-bay. What's it going to be?"

Aeryn store intensely into her eyes. She was about to deliver on the threat if Chiana challenged her. She was so sick of the way she was acting. The young Narabi defied all the authority on Moya and all she did was steal food like Rygel and complain more so than Rygel.


	8. Solving a problem takes a bombreally

Chiana was sitting by herself out on the deck of Moya. She was playing with hair and looking out at the dark empty space and stars. She was angry. Frelling therapy! It was more like a get to know Chiana and continue to bitch at her! She hated it. It made her feel unloved, used and abused by her friends. She hated the fact that people were now jumping at her about Jool's stabbing. They had basically condemned her and assuming she was guilty with no hard facts or evidence. It sucked. Basically everyone was riled up about the whole therapy session and Chiana was immediately assumed the scape goat on Jool's stabbing.

Jool was in worse condition then they all had hoped. Her blood kept oozing out of her nose like a mad fly on a pizza and she only had one eye open but still in an unconscious state. Her blood pressure and three hearts had stopped to a slow rate, causing Aeryn great concern. Chiana didn't feel guitly about her being in that condition at all. She thought about it for a moment. It seemed plausible that she should have been asked the question if she stabbed Chiana, but those guys knew she was all talk when it came to delivering her threats.

Chiana sighed. "I guess I can't stay here anymore. If anything, if I stay in here any longer, I will kill myself."

She rests her head on the ground and closes her eyes.

**In the Food Quarters..**

John, Zhann, Rygel and Aeryn were sitting around the messy table, discussing Jool's stabbing and Chiana's involvement. It seemed everyone except Zhann was in an agreement that Narabi bitch stabbed Jool.

"You assume that she has the capabilities to stab someone. John, this is Chiana. She's an odd Narabi creature. Proven to be a child at most times during our mission, do you honestly think that she would had the chance to stab Jool?" Zhann asked with passion and pleading in her voice. Stark was spinning around on his chair, trying to distract her, but it wasn't working.

"I don't know what to think. She's been aggressive towards everyone lately." John said. "Chiana is a bully. She was bullying Jool at every chance she got during the therapy session, Zhann. If you were here you would come to the logical decision like the rest of us."

Zhann sighed. "I choose to see the good in her John but I would like you to explain the word 'bully'. It confuses and infuriates me."

"Hormones do that alot to a plant." Rygel chimed in.

"Frell up,buckweed." John warned.

"I demand an explanation or I'll go into a massive rage and hit you all!" Zhann screamed standing up. Then she sat down again with a smile on her face. Everyone giving her worred looks.

"I want to be with Crais! Release his body into me!" Stark screamed. "I AM NARABI!"

Everyone randomly turned to him with confusion on their faces.

John then turned back to Zhann and said. "Bullying is a repetitive act in agressive behaviour which has the intent to harm the persion in either physical or mentally. Basically what Scorpy tried to do to me before you raped me Zhann."

"We're going to have words about that later on, Zhanny. Just you and me in the Pilot's chamber." Aeryn warned.

"For god's sake, I did not rape you John. I was united within to heal your soul before Scorpious did any more damage." Zhann protested. She hated being accused of such henious act when no one could be bothered to understand her peaceful interperson ways.

"I'd hardly call feeling me up without my permission, a unity of acts, Zhann. You didn't have my permission." John retorted.

"I can see why you have problems in the bed, honey." Aeryn said, interested in the bruing fight between the two peaceful friends, which seemed from Aeryn's POV that nothing would ever come to hurt them, but it seemed that this incident had and could explain why Zhann left Moya to join Stark on Tayln in such a hurry.

John head banged the table and looked at Aeryn embarrassed , with his face turning bright red. "Honey, I don't have issues in the bed. I knocked you up twice."

"And I miscarried, twice. Admit it John, Zhann and her peaceful unity is the root cause of you erectile dysfunction!" Aeryn exclaimed. "I'm not upset, but we need to deal with this."

John slammed his hand on his head, embarrassed at the fact that their naughty private life was being aired in front of everyone. "And you pick the time to discuss this?"

"It seems that you two need to resolve this." Aeryn said.

"What are we going to do about Chiana?" John asked quickly changing the subject. "I think we need to have her sit down with Rygel again, she definetly has some anger and sex issues that she needs to discuss and deal with. Rygel, you're up for another round of therapy?"

Rygel sighed. "I suppose. You know the deal. I get food at the end of this right?"

"Of course, doc." John smiled. "Would I ever lie to you?"

"Need I remind you of the utz parade of ideas that came through that hears since you obliviously came through that wormhole?" Rygel bit back.

John shook his head. "Nah."

"Do I have to participate on this? If not, I must get back to Talyn so I can be unity with him." Zhann said standing.

"Not so fast blue print plant. You're going to participate in this. I want to know what makes you tick, why you're so angry with everyone. Yes you can blame the pregnancy, but I believe it's more than that." John said.

Aeryn stood up eyeing her former blue friend. "I also want to know why you raped my man."

"For god's sake! I did not do that! I am a peaceful plant! The only things I have attempted to seduce have been old slug hynarians! Even then I couldn't form my bond with them, they're just so disgusting!" Zhann protested.

"Fuck you, blue bitch." Rygel said slapping her across the face.

"Feel better?" John asked, with a smile to Rygel.

"I've waited a long time to slap her." Rygel nodded. "And yes , I do. So are we all in agreement? That we first help Chiana, deal with her issues. Its the only way we can resolve this and why she stabbed Jool."

"I still believe she is innocent. Let her recount her innocence to the alligations. If I have to defend her vegenfully, I will. Because I am Zhann - Warrior Pregnant Plant." Zhann said in a loud voice with her hands on her hips her head held high, facing the door.

D'argo walked in to find everyone just staring wierdly at Zhann. "What the frell?"

"I am Zhann - Warrior Princess! Pregnant! Don't forget that too!" Zhann screamed.

"Oh, frell. If dealing Rygel wasn't bad enough, pregnancy in a plant is making her go nutty!" John exclaimed.

"That's how you like your nuts, John." D'argo teased.

"Oh D'argo, just blow it out of your..-" John started to say, but Aeryn clasped his mouth shut.

"Let's not do 've just had one round with Zhann. Okay? D'argo we're going to resume therapy with Chiana, then Zhann and then you. Is that okay with you?" Aeryn asked as she hugged her husband as she started rubbing his chest. "Oh Zhann, does this make you hot? Are you jealous that I own this!"

Zhann looked on in shock and anger as Aeryn rubbed her hands over John's black shirt.

"Mmm, this fine piece of chest is mine. Not yours. Shame we can't share." Aeryn mocked. She starts licking his arm. "So tasty."

"You probably want to get out of here guys. Kind of in the mood to rip my clothes off and seduce this fine human." Aeryn warned as she spun him around and brung him in for a juicy kiss. "Did it go like this when you zhanned him with your magical drugs, Zhanny-Poo?"

Zhann grabbed Stark by the head and kissed him. "Oh Stark I love you! Give me that fine face!"

"What the frell is going on in here! D'argo screamed, confused.

"Apparenly John and Stark are getting a lot of frells right now." Rygel noted.

D'argo scratched his head as he watched them making out. "This is how therapy session is conducted on earth?"

Aeryn disembarked from John's embrace, leaving him rather shocked and gasping for air. "Sorry, but we better continue with the thearpy."

"Oh, come on!" John cried out. "You can't just leave me hanging like that."

Aeryn giggled. "Save it for later, go find Chiana and let's continue with this."

Pilot appeared on the clamshell. "Hey idiots, Chiana is gone. She took Aeryn's prowler and left."

"What?" Everyone shrieked in anger.

"How long ago?" John asked.

"Umm..about an harn ago. She wanted me to tell you that you're all frelled up and she hates you." Pilot answered.

"Maybe we could blow her up?" Rygel asked. "Are the bombs activated on Aeryn' little crutch?"

Aeryn looked at Rygel in shock. "Prowler! And what bombs!"

"Rygel and I put some bombs on your prowler just in case Chiana made a break for it." Pilot laughed evily. "Should I detenoate it now? I can't wait to see what she looks like in tiny pieces, body organs and all!"

"Yes!" Rygel screamed. "Release the hound!"

"No buckweed! We have to get Chiana before she does anything stupid." John said as he ,D'argo and Aeryn hurried out of the room.

Rygel giggled. "What they don't know is I put a bomb in John's little machine too."

"You did?" Pilot gleefuly asked. "Excellent, Excellent1"

"Pilot, since when did you become homicidal?" Zhann asked.

"Should I detenoate the bomb?" Rygel asked.

"Yes, DO IT! Put them all to death!" Pilot screamed with an evil laugh.

Rygel pressed the green button on his remote.

An explosion in the hangar echoed throughout Moya as she rumbled.


	9. D'argos turn! Pilot is evil!

John was nursing his head wound from the explosion with some bandages. Aeryn was too busy checking if her clothes that she had been wearing at the time of the incident had been damaged. No, they had not been. Chiana was gagged up and tied to a chair bouncing up and down, trying to get out of it , to no avail. Zhann was nursing D'argo's arm which had been discloated by the explosion.

Rygel looked at John. John looked at Rygel with murderous rage. He wanted to strangle that Hyniarian with his bear hands and throw him into a solar sun. He was upsset, angry, motified and viciously murderous over the destruction of his own ship. I.S.S.A. His only means to travel back through a wormhole. Thanks to Rygel, he had no way of leaving Moya with his wife, to start their new life together. John continued to bandage his head. He he managed to stop the bleeding, and now wrapped the bandage aroudn the head. He continued to menance at his crewmate.

Rygel gulped. He caught the look on John's face. "It was Pilot's idea.'

"Piss off, no it wasn't!" Pilot screamed through the comshell. Everyone gasped in suprise they never heard the usual peaceful plassit Pilot swear before. Let alone in english. He obviously had taken lessons from the words John had been cursing out of his mouth over the last cycle or so.

D'argo sat back down on the chair. "If it's any concilation, John, I'm trapped here too. I too would have loved to have the opportunity to escape this dreadful crew."

"What's done is done. I'm still in alive my clothes are still pretty and my hair is perfect. I say we move on from this and get on with the therapy." Aeryn said as she slapped John at the back of the head.

John closed his eyes, filling the full force of the pain. "Ow, Aeryn. My head still hurts,Aeryn."

"It was either you or hit Rygel. But Rygel is way too easy." Aeryn smiled as she kissed his cheek and then sat down. "D'argo are you ready to start your session with Rygel? Everyone take notes, he plays with dolls!I'm alive and proud and perfect let's just move on."

"Damn." Pilot softly said, unaware that they all heard it.

"What was that Pilot?" John asked with curiosity. Aeryn had put her hand on her D'argo gun, ready to strike Pilot down at any second if he said one more insulting thing about her.

"I mean, go yeah aeryn, yeah!" Pilot said trying to cover himself. "Thankfully she would have believed that. Stupid sebaccian torok."

"Pilot?" Aeryn said with an evil smile as she charged her weapon, ready to fire at him at any moment.

"Yes, Evil-Sun?" Pilot looked into the comm.

"We can still hear you." John said. "Shutup or she will kill you."

"Yes, you impotent human." Pilot said. He then commed out.

John slammed his hand on the table. "That's it, give me that gun, let me blast him myself!"

"No!" Aeryn ordered. "Let's just get on with this, please for frell sake."

Zhann entered the room. John turned to her and asked about her condition.

"She'll live or die. Could go either way, John." Zhann said as she sat down beside Aeryn, she eyed her evily.

Aeryn caught the look from Zhann and gave her the finger back.

D'argo sat on the food table with Rygel parking his chear across from him. "This is so embarassing..."

"Yes, why do you play with dolls?" Asked Rygel, not beating aorund the bush, he also was intreguied by this luxon. "Is it because your mother never bathed you as a child? Tell me how that feels for a luxon of your stature?"

"It's a stress thing." D'argo said ignoring Rygel's insulting words. "I've been doing it for a while. I found some materials in John's now dismantled ship, ugly thing by the way, and whacked up some miniature dolls of you guys. Chiana and Zhann and look the hottest. Sometimes I put those two in the same little bed and make a relationship out of them. Zhann's the innocent female while Chiana is often dominating and psychotic, which is not to far off from her actually."

John and Aeryn looked on in amazement, trying not to laugh. Chiana was still bouncing up and down on her chair. Rygel's mouth dropped open in horror. He wasn't repulsed at the thought, but he was surprised at the luxon's admiration of the truth.

"oh and I had john and stark in some sort of erotic relationship too. It helps work out why he's always mean to mean. He's ...what did you call scorpy that time? Gara?" D'argo smiled and looked at D'argo with contempt.

"I think the word you mean is 'gay', AND second of 'fuck you'." John angrily replied.

"I have to wonder D'argo does this not act with the dolls tell you something?" Rygel said putting on his gleasses.

"Ummm..." D'argo couldn't think of an answer. "I wouldn't have a clue."

"You seem to be attracted to both the male and female species." Zhann interjected excitedly. "It's quite rare for any Luxon to have feelings for both male and females. If he's doing these with his dolls. Then he's simulating his feelings for both me and possibly John."

"I don't have feelings for John! No offense!" D'argo scraemed all embarassed.

"I was going to say the exact same thing. The Luxon's gay. Therapy session concluded." Rygel said. "Now to hide all of his stuff and kick him off the ship."

John smiled. "Look big guy, if you're gay and that's why you're so angry for not recipricating the same feelings, I don't hold any grudges. Many males on my planet are well attracted to the same sex."

'But you're not even his species." Zhann said.

"But it's still male to male feelings." John interrupted.

"Why are you being mean to me! All of you, I am not attracted to John at all! I love him!" D'argo screamed standing up pounding his fists on the table.

Everyone in the room quieted down, John's mouth dropped as did Aeryn. Chiana was still bouncing up and down the chair but the expression on her face appeared to show she was laughing, but no one could hear her because of the gag.

Pilot in his chamber was quietly laughing evily to himself. "I know Moya, this is excellent. I'm beginning to think this therapy of Johns was well worth it!"


	10. Well it's time to kill em!

John found D'argo in his quarters throwing Rygel around like a bouncy ball. Rygel was pleading for John to help him. The therapy session had ended when Chiana knocked herself out on Zhann's baby stomach. She was now too facing life and death. At the fault of Zhann's big belly.

John looked at D'argo. "Hey, big guy - let's talk."

"For god's sake Crighten help me!" Rygel said as he landed on his head beside John's feet. John watched as D'argo growled and made his way towards John and Rygel.

"Hey, cool it, come on man!" John snapped. He was sick of the violence on this ship. He was going to be bringing up a child with Aeryn and he didn't want the child to be raised in that type of envrionment, since now both Aeryn's prowler and John's ship were now in pieces because of Rygel and Pilot's sick evil joke of a plan.

John watched as Rygel picked himself up. 'You, okay sparky?'

"I'm fine." Rygel said and then turned back to D'argo. "I am not aderfaicsion. This luxon cannot be helped. I'm done being everyone's away from me luxon."

Before D'argo could apologize now that his anger was more under control, Rygel floated out of the room. John turned to D'argo and approached him.

"You have to stop doing this D'argo." John said. "You're anger is probably the root cause as to why everyone is so on edge. I get it, truly, I do. Hey I had friends back on earth who told me that they had a crush on me. It's okay. It's not like I expect them to jump me."

"Male friends?" D'argo asked. "I thought the goal of the human productive system was to get married and frell up a child for the productive cycle."

"Well depending on the kind of religion you look at , people are created for different purposes. Some people are attracted to the same gender, and some aren't. It's cool. It's the way the progress of life works. I was naive to think that this part of the galaxy was immune to same sex coupling." John said.

John could see D'argo grimace, as he was embarassed, but John wan't. He sat down on one of the chairs. "I just don't get why you been so mean to me and Aeryn."

"I guess..." D'argo sighed. "I guess I knew I couldn't act on those feelings. So I bent up all the rages and it transmuted."

"You nearly choked me to death a few days ago over a word, D'argo! Transmuted big time!" John exclaimed. He didn't want to to be mean to his friend and he could understand the situation with D'argo's prediciment but he had to make sure he and his new family was going to be safe from these kinds of rages he had.

"I'm not gay John. I love female luxons. I just don't know why I love you." D'argo admitted. "Look let's just forget it. This is not your issue, this is mine. So I can't let you deal with it."

John sighed. "Maybe you should spend some time with the Pilot. He seems to be enjoying all of our issues. He may find this rather funny. I don't think he even understands the difference between the genders and species he deals with on here."

"I heard that you son of a bitch." Pilot appeared on the clamshell.

John growled. "You fricken kidding me? Your ears dropping on our conversation? Seriously is there no privacy on this ship anymore!"

"Moya needs the information for her databanks. So it must be done."Pilot quickly said covering his ass in the progress so that if he was caught out again he could use Moya as an excuse.

"You're so full of shit." D'argo accussed.

"That's sweet of you. I also wanted to alert you that Chianna is lying on top of Jool. She's now concious. You may want to get down to the medic bay." Pilot said before cutting communications off.

John started to head out of D'argo's quarters and turned and said. "You gonna be okay?"

"Sure.' D'argo nodded. "You don't hate me?"

"Why would I hate you?" John asked with a smile. "You're my buddy. If you were in my feet I would expect the same thing from you."

D'argo growled. "So you believe I'm gay?"

"No!" John said rubbing his head. "I was saying, friends can support eachother in this. It's not a clear cut issue. I think it's sweet that you could finally be honest with me."

"So you're gay then? You want me to jump you?" D'argo screamed getting angry and throwing a chair to the side.

John could see that this was getting no where, at some point he needed to learn shutup and not make the situation any worse. Especially when it came to an ill tempered luxon. He quickly hurried out of D'argo's quarters. D'argo seething and throwing the table toward the door.

In the medic bay. Jool was trying to get out of Chiana's grasps. Chiana as licking Jool on the face. Zhann was watching along with Rygel and Aeryn in complete horror.

"It's not exactly sex, is it?" Aeryn asked to no one in particular.

"No, but I'm sure you dream about sex all solar day long you filfthy sebaccian." Rygel snapped.

"Frell off, Rygel." Aeryn muttered.

Zhann called to Chiana. "Chiana, are you finished? Jool wants to get up."

"Please get this thing off me! My beautiful body it's been violated." Jool pleaded. "I woke up to find her licking my face, what is she a peacekeeper?"

"Shut teh frell up. I'm trying to do something fun." Chiana said slapping Jool across the face. "I don't mind if you died, so I could have your body all to myself without your soul in it."

"Frell you!" Jool scerramed. Then she let out a loud piercing scream, causing everyone in the room to scream and cover their ears. Chiana fell off Jool as she got up and continued to scream.

"HEY! WHAT THE FRELL IS GOING ON!" John screamed from the doorway.

"She was on me!" Jool screamed. "I feel used."

"Try being a peacekeeper, then you can talk about feeling 'used'."Aeryn muttered. "You're such a drama queen, Jool.'

"And you're not?" Jool shot back. "Chiana is right, you're wedding day was almost a disaster because you couldn't decide, if you loved John, or if you loved the idea of being with John."

John closed his eyes. "Good god, ladies, can we tone this down for the rest of the night please? And continue bickering tomorrow! Please I've had enough therapy for one day."

"I am not going into another session." Jool screamed. "I rather leave."

"Fine, there's a door and transport pod,we'll drop you in space somewhere." Zhann said. "If you go, it means I can reclaim my position on Moya."

Jool stomped her foot on the ground.

"Loser." Chiana screamed.

"AHHH!" Jool's face and hair both suddenly turned bright red, and her eyes started glowing. "I am getting sick of being mistreated- even in this therapy thing - I was abused for your pleasure! I am now done talking this lying down! Time to strike you all!"

"Okay." John said rather suprised by the now really angered Jool. "Never saw her face go red before. Means she's truly pissed."

"She's just a child. A child only restorts to tantrums because she knows she can't win." Zhann explained.

"THAT'S IT!" Jool screamed. She pointed her face at Zhann a bright flash filled the room and Zhann began screaming in pain.

John and the others covered their eyes as the white light was getting brighter. They couldn't see what was happening to their blue friend. But they could her tears of pain along with the screams of horror. When they white flash was gone, John opened his eyes and saw once Zhann stood was a melted plant in her position. The blue liquid oozing around teh foot. Rygel looking around.

Everyone turned around to see Jool breathing in heavily. "Who else wants to have some physical therapy?"

"Crighten, what the frell? What do we do?" Asked Aeryn, rather frightened. She grabbed him by the neck. "She could kill me next."

"I can if you so wish!" Jool laughed evily.

"No, no no! We're right! We're just going to you know go and sleep - RUN NOW!" John screamed. John, Aeryn, Rygel and Chiana hurried out of the room. Jool started after them.

"The tables have turned! I now control this ship! Pilot cut off the air supply immediately!" Jool screamed as she chased the moya crew down the tiers.

"No." Pilot said on her comm device.

"What? Why not, Do you defy me?" Asked Jool rather angrier then before.

"No,Rygel was smart enough to put a bomb in your stomach while you were unconcious and I have the remote. We were going to kill Aeryn and John, but your death would be most welcome. Goodbye.' Pilot said rather evily. He pressed a red button.

John, Aeryn, Rygel and Chiana hit teh ground as Jool exploded with a horrific scream echoing through tears. the fireball erupted into one of the tiers, and barely missed John's leg.

They all looked back to see the engulfed tiers on fire and body parts of Jool hanging off the tiers.

John turned to look at the destruction that was behold of them. "I am not going to envy the DRDS and Rygel who are going to clean this mess up."

Rygel gave him a stare of death and said. "Like frell, I'm cleaning that bitch up. You clean her up. Take her to bed with you to rejuvinate your sex life, Crighten."

John punched Rygel in the face and fell to the floor. "Shutup, sparky."

Aeryn sat up and sighed. "I'm really getting tired of this. Let's face it. Between bombs and exploding Jool and a liquified dead plant, we failed John. There's no way this crew can stay together. Not even for another microde."

John had to admit it, the plan definetly had failed. It resulted with two deaths already and the day hadn't even barely reached dinner time. The more he thought about it, the more he regretted even giving the idea a go. He still had to deal with D'argo.

"I think the more important question is , how on earth do we tell Stark that his blue wife and child are dead?" Chiana chimmed in. She had posed a good question. Stark was already unstable as it was. How on earth were they going to deal with that?

John and Aeryn looked at eachother.

"I took extra precautions, I attached a bomb to his helmet." Rygel offered. "We can eliminate him before he eliminates us. If he were to find out Zhann was dead, he would obliviate us all. It's better we take him out."

"You put a bomb in Jool didn't you?" John asked.

"Well lucky for all of us we did. look at how well she turned out." Rygel answered, confirming to John the answer to his question.

Aeryn and John stood up and he followed Rygel and Chiana to their quarters. They had been sharing one quarter for a while now. It seemed that they were having a relationship of some kind but they didn't tell anybody else about it.

John didn't need to look into his room to see Chiana's stuff all over Rygel's bedding. He just covered his eyes. "I don't even know when you guys started dating."

"Good." Chiana smiled. She then pulled Rygel in for a big juicy kiss.

"Love you, bitch." Rygel said with a smile.

"Right back at ya." Chiana replied back. "See all these bomb remotes? I helped Rygel rig one up to Stark while he was asleep a while back, just before they boarded on Tayln. In the event that something dramatic would happen and Stark was going to go homicidal on us, Rygel and I thought while mushing our love into one singlearity, that we should be prepared and plant one of these bombs into Stark. Now granted it wasn't as big as the one that my honey bunny put in Jool's stomach, but it will do enough damage to kill him and take most of his body parts with him."

She handed over to John a small remote of some kind. It had three buttons, but all had symbols on it that he didn't quite understand. "The top button detonates it."

"Okay, so we need to make sure that Stark is off the ship before we detonate it. and not on Tayln." Aeryn offered. "Rygel, Chiana your job is to get Start back onto Tayln. Lure him there. Use Zhann as an excuse if you have to."

Chiana nodded and hurried out of the room to find Stark, with Rygel following after her licking his lips while staring at her beautifull but.

"Frell, that is one nice ass. I'm glad I'm conquering it."Rygel said lowly. But John and Aeryn had heard it, and instantly making puking noises at the thought.

Aeryn turned to her husband and said. "We need to consider killing Chiana and Rygel once they kill Stark."

"Agreed. Not that I want to kill them, but I agree since there is only one transport pod left, we can take the opportunity to kill all three of them at once. I want to raise a baby in a peaceful envrionment, with them around it will never know peace." John said as she checked his weapon.

"What about D'argo? Did you sort him out? I think the therapy session has made him even more dangerous to himself and to everyone else. Including the Pilot." Aeryn enquired.

John shrugged. "He's more angry now. I think it's a safe bet he needs to be put down."

"Do you need any help, babe?" Aeryn asked leaning in for a kiss.

"I just wish it didn't have to come to this. I mean they're our friends. I guess the therapy made everything much worse." John said sadly as he kissed her back.

"Did you want to roll around?" Aeryn asked.

"My, my, does killing our friends turn you on Commander Officer-Sun?" John smiled and laughed, it was an interesting proposition from her and the timing of it seemed rather she did get turned on by the purity of the thought of killing the Moya crew.

"It sure does."Aeryn said. "But rolling around in Rygel's room, does not appeal to me. Can we go back to our quarters please?'

John smiled gleefuly. "I'm getting laid."

Aeryn laughed as she led him back down the tiers.


	11. Goodbye EXPLOSIONS! KABOOM!

Chiana and Rygel board the transpot pod, unaware that it was rigged with explosive devices John had put in earlier when he and Aeryn were in the cargo bay. Stark was raving on like a lunatic about the inconsitences of Pilot, John and Aeryn's friendship and how it was their fault Zhann was ascended into the boosm of her goddess. He kept rambling that this was unacceptable and that he would find a way to be with Zhann again.

Rygel hovered over to him. "Will you stop raving on like a demantle centrefold piece and get on the transport pod? Zhann is waiting for you there. She's not dead."

"BUt her spirit told me she was murdered by Aeryn!" Stark exclaimed as his eyes opened wide with fear.

Rygel looked at him. "No, she's alive. She's waiting for you. She's waiting for all of us back no Tayln. We have some good news to share."

While Rygel was talking to calm him down, Chiana was busy loading all the cases onto the transport pod. She saw John walk into the hangar.

"We'll be out of here as soon as Rygel gets physcho onto the pod." Chiana announced. "So what happens when we drop him off?"

"Well you come back, Pip." John said with a smile. From Chiana's view, she could almost sense something evil and debivous about his smile. She couldn't work out, if that was just part of his charm, or if he was up to something, but she didn't think it had anything to do with her.

"Once you get back, we'll be startursting. So make sure you are back within an arn. Unless you and boyfriend want to stay with Stark on Tayln." John commanded as put a hand on his shoulder. He figured that this was the last time he was ever going to see his face and touch that narabi body of hers. He wanted to to analyse her one more time with his eyes, before she, Rygel and Stark exploded into one singluarity in space by the hands of Moya.

Chiana frowned at her friend and shipmate. "You feeling alright, Crighten? What's with all the touchy of my body stuff? Horny?"

John laughed. "Not horny, just wishing if we were in a time and different place, we could have had the relationship you always wanted."

From the doorways, Aeryn looked on shaking her head in annoyance. She knew he was going to do this, charm her up so he could get her to make one big passionate kiss one last time, but for whatever reason Aeryn decided to play along with it. SHe figured Chiana was going to die and it would be the last thing to ever do in this galaxy. Make out with Crighten. So she figured it wouldn't hurt. Aeryn's rage however was building up inside when she saw John and Chiana look their lips into one juicy slow passionate kiss. From her view, she could see Chiana was instigating the most intense sexual kiss she ever witnssed, and she also saw that John was not going to pull back, not afraid to give Chiana that one last defining moment in her life before killing her.

Aeryn shook her head. "Come on, stop kissing her. Get on with the plan, you frell." She said this in a whisper so that no one else could hear it.

She saw John and Chiana disengage from their passionate kiss. John looked at Chiana flabergusted and his face had turned bright red. A cheeky smile spreading across his face.

"I, um, ... we better not tell Aeryn about this." Chiana warned. "You know she's a pretty angry sebacian."

"True. But I love her though." John said.

Chiana frowned. She couldn't work out why he was sending her these signals. One minute he wasn't interested in her, the next now he was allowing her to give him the most sexual passionate kiss she could give him. It confused her. She had seen enough to realize that people who played these games were often immature and didn't have anything fulfilling in their lives. Chiana worried maybe he was bored of Aeryn and that he was just using her as a rebound girl to make himself feel better.

"Come on, you wanted that right?" John asked.

"Yeah, of course. But you can't do this to me, it's not fair."Chiana complained in a childish tone. "I'm in a relationship now, I can't let you just screw that up. Not with Rygel."

"I don't get what you see in Sparky." John wondered as he folded his arms as Chiana looked away and carried rest of the cases on board the transport pod.

Chiana stood at the entrance on the doorway to the Transport pod, she ignored John and turned to Rygel. "Come on, Rygel, grab Stark and let's get frelling out of here!"

John sighed as he watched Rygel and Stark approach him.

Stark smiled. "You tried and you failed. Trying to resolve is always good for the soul. Hope D'argo will be more receptive."

"I'm working on it, Stark." John said as he shook his hand.

He watched both Rygel and Stark enter the Transport pod, and the door closing behind them.

Aeryn approached John from behind as they watched the ship start up.

"That was quite convincing." Aeryn said as she touched his back. "Never knew you were that good of an actor."

"I was just giving her what she always wanted." John said. "At least she will die achieving that."

"What, kissing you?" Aeryn asked. "Chiana's relationship with you was more then friendship, she wanted that, you didn't and she knew that. You think screwing with her head before we detonate the bomb on the transport pod, was going to allow her to think that she 'got what she wanted' from you? You clearly don't know women out of this galaxy, let alone from erp." Aeryn ranted. "Sometimes I worry, you actually like messing with her head."

"She's damaged. What else did you want me to do? Not mess with her head?" John smiled.

Aeryn grabbed him and pulled him for a kiss.

The transport pod took off from Moya.

Pilot appeared on the clamshell in the hangar. "The transport pod has taken off. Will you detonate the bomb now Commander?"

John pulled out from Aeryn's kiss and embrace and looked at the green button on the remote. Aeryn turned to see that the ship was now out of the vacinity of Moya.

"Let's detonate the bomb together."John suggested.

"Aww, too kind, love you." Aeryn said as she put her hand on the remote.

Together they both pressed the button.

Seconds later a massive explosion rocked the space and Moya.

John and Aeryn looked out the hangar to see the transport pod explode into tiny million pieces as the main body of the pod was engulfed in flames. Debreves of the transport pod flying everywhere. John and Aeryn look on completly stunned by the spectacular show that the explosion had created.

"I never thought I'd find myself loving this. At all." Aeryn said with a huge grin on her face.

"What the frell did you two do!" Came D'argo's booming voice from behind them.

Aeryn jumped and turned around to see D'argo standing there in complete disbelief. His eyes darted back and forward between his two friends, waiting for an explanation.

Pilot's voice came over John's comm device. "We killed them. Would you like to be next?"


	12. John and D'argo speak

D'argo was waiting for an explanation from John, Aeryn and Pilot. They were in Pilot's chamber an arn later. D'argo was upset at the fact that Chiana had been killed. He didn't really care for Rygel. He had more of a thing with her then he had with Rygel, so naturally his grief about not having a say in China being killed was got him more upset.

Aeryn , pilot and John were looking at each other. Not saying a word while they heard D'argo pacing back and forward snarling in between breathes.

D'argo looked at pilot. "I cannot believe you killed them. I..I...I mean...wow.I would have liked to have some say in Chiana's death. I would have wanted to her go out some other way. Blowing her up is just a ratings cheap shot!"

"Look D'argo," John started to approach him, but the luxon snarled back at him. "Hey, look - we had no choice alright. The fighting and the screaming and the snarky remarks from everyone was starting to get on our nerves. It seemed that my brilliant idea, and I use that term loosely, by the way, of conducting a therapy session to address our dirty laundry and secrets, just made everything worse.

"D'argo, if you would like to be killed, please say so." Pilot said with a slight evil smile. "I'd rather not have an angry luxon with John love issues on my ship."

"Frell off pilot. My ex girlfriend is dead, blown to pieces by your reckless homicidalness! I am still trying to process this awful news!" D'argo turned to John. "Did you do this because I loved you?"

"No! Dude! What the hell?" John asked. Presently his friendship with D'argo was up in the air. John couldn't tell whether it was fractured, repaired or ended, and it seemed D'argo kept coming back for more fights, clarification and whatever the hell else he wanted, just so he could. John was suspecting maybe D'argos crush on him was a little bit more then he said it was.

"D'argo we just want to live on Moya and raise our child in peace. Explore other worlds. Without all the fighting. We were just so sick of fighting with everyone and we're sick of fighting with you. The question is - are you willing to come to the table and talk about your problems so we can get passed it and not have to kill you?" Aeryn explained. She stepped forward raising her eye brows and reaching out her hand, so that D'argo knew that she offering a peaceful resolution to their fighting. Her threat was polite and at best cruel and direct at the same time. His mouth dropped open upon hearing it.

D'argo looked at Aeryn and John and then at Pilot. He let down his guard and sighed. "Okay, I'm willing to talk."

"Good." John said as he and Aeryn approached D'argo.

"Let's start with me and you." John said as he patted D'argo's shoulders. "We have a lot to discuss, my friend."

D'argo nodded in agreement.

Aeryn turned back to Pilot when John and D'argo left the room and gave a smile.

"I still think your best chance of having a child without problems with D'argo, is to kill him." Pilot suggested.

"John and D'argo need to sort out their fractured friendship, Pilot. I'm sure they can be good friends again. Without Jool, Zhann, Stark or the others to get in the way, I think we'll all be quite right."

Pilot sighed annoyingly. He grew quite fond of murdering the moya acrew. He looked at Aeryn up and down with mischief smile across his face and then went back to piloting Moya as she headed out the chamber.

"Keep this up, Aeryn-Sun, I will have you killed." Pilot threatened quietly.

"What was that?" Aeryn asked with a focused tone and drawing a knife from her pocket.

"Nothing. I best get back to the controls." Pilot said.

"Yeah, you do that."Aeryn snapped.

D'argo and John were sitting in the food quarters again. There was still a mess there, but they were drinking some sort of alocoholic drink that John made for them. John had introduced D'argo to this "beer bevarage" a while go and his friend quite liked it. Liked it too much in fact and ended up sleeping with PIlot in the chamber after drinking too much of the beer.

D'argo sighed and looked at John. "I just want to know why you don't value my friendship with you."

"D'argo, dude, bro, buckweed, sparky..." John looked at D'argo with a smile on his face. "I admit that our friendship has weined lately because of the fighting and my relationship with Aeryn and I am sorry that happened. Truly I am, but I still consider you my best friend on this ship. I just want to know why you think I hate you, or don't want to spend time with you. I am not that kind of a guy to do that to other people. Befriend them and then tell them to rack off. That's not my style. At all."

D'argo smiled at John's answer. He sipped his beer. "I just figured you didn't want me anymore because you had Aeryn and pretty soon you're going to be a father."

"That's horse shit!" John protested. "Whatever you gave that idea?"

"Rygel." D'argo looked at him sheepishly.

"Dude, since when did you listen to Rygel?" John asked. "If anything he was the last crew mate to take advice from."

"Well he was kind of right wasn't he? Now that you're going to have family with Aeryn, you're not going to have much time for friend stuff. Like we used to. Hanging out with beers, pouring the alcoholic beverage on Pilot while he sleeps and then suggesting to him he peed himself. That kind of stuff, will stop?" D'argo asked.

John knew that that kind of stuff, the fun stuff would stop eventually, but D'argo was his only friend in here as well as Pilot, they'd just move on and do other things. "We may not have hung out as much, and probably won't because of the baby and all, but we'd still see eachother on the ship, and organize stuff to do. It's not like we won't be apart. We'll always be friends, D'argo. Responsibilities and family duties and other stuff will get in the way."

D'argo sighed. "Fair enough. About the other thing?"

"You 'loving me'?" John asked. "Dude, don't worry about it. I know you won't jump me. Because I'm not your type. You prefer corruptable ex-peace keeper officers. Like I do."

D'argo burst out laughing at that as did John.

"Hey, what did you do with those dolls, you thrown them out yet?" John asked quite suddenly a wild idea.

"They're under my pillow. I sleep with them every night and suffocate the John and Aeryn dolls when I get up in the morning to fix my bed." D'argo answered. "Why?"

John just stored at him. Blinking twice. Rather taken aback by the suffocation of the John and Aeryn dolls.

_I think we may have to put you down..._John thought muderously.


	13. Chiana and Rygel are Alive, Barely!

D'argo was in his quarters cleaning his weapon when a DRD approached him. It made some little noises and D'argo sighed. He noticed as he looked down that a note was placed in between it's antennas. He could see that it had something on it, so he took it from the DRD. It made some machinery noises , banging into his feet hard so that it could hear a "thank you" from D'argo.  
D'argo looked at the DRD and pulled a quick smile. "I am most grateful for you bringing this to me! Your service has given me great happiness and you should be awared for your excellent and efficient service of bring me this note!"  
The DRD simply responded by ramming into his foot twice, and then taking off.  
"Sometimes I wonder if Moya makes sure they do that on purpose." D'argo said outloud. He looked at the piece of paper. He recognized John's handwriting.  
Hey Dargo, relax we're not gonna kill you. In fact, we want our kid to have you around so that way you can spoil him rotten and teach him things that myself or Aeryn can't. We're in the food quarters if you want to come join us. I also made cup cakes! The chocolate kind - you're gonna love this! Yeah, you're probably thinking that writing this to you is probably stupid, considering we have comm devices, but I haven't written anything in a while. So yeah, and it's kind of a personal touch. Hope to see you in the food quarters. Kindest Regards - you're best friend.  
D'argo had to smile at that. John was a creature that infuriated and confused him at twice, but was also a good friend, he had to admit that. This was one of John's many confusing habits. Leaving him messages hand written instead of just using the comm device. D'argo thought that it was a boredom thing for John, so he created something fun and humerous - hand written notes to his friend, delivered by DRD. Moya's Post Office service.  
He decided that he would go to the Food quarters and have a meal with both of them. But he heard Chiana's voice on his comm.  
"D'argo!" She cried furiously into her comm device on the other end of her partially destroyed pod. Rygel lying beside her gasping for air.  
D'argo, still in his quarters, responded. "Chiana, you're alive? I thought you were dead."  
"No we're damn alive. And Im going to frelling kill Crighten and his little walkie talkie wife! They tried to kill us!" Chiana screamed. "Can you come and pick us up?"  
"Um..." D'argo was too stunned to say anything more. Hearing Chiana's sweet voice, and hearing Rygel screaming out in pain gave him great pleasure and a smile. But he was hungry too. "I'm actually going to have something to eat with Aeryn and John. Can you hold on for an arn or something?"  
Chiana sighed annoyingly back on the pod. "Your picking food over saving my life and my boyfriend's life?"  
"Well, um, yeah." D'argo responded. "I am hungry, Chiana. How's your oxygen levels?"  
Chiana responded with a cough. "We could be frelled within the arn. Please pick us up now. I know you don't like Rygel because he replaced you in our relationship, but will it help if I said I still love you?"  
"That's completly manipulative!" D'argo screamed angrily.  
"And you care how?" Chiana asked. "Come on, D'argo."  
"I remember you used that on my son!" D'argo raged. "You're a bitch, Chiana."  
"So you gonna rescue me?" Chiana asked with a smile. She loved it when he got into his rages. It made her feel quite proud of herself, still after all this time, she could rile D'argo.  
"Yes. After I had something to eat. And after I discuss this with John."  
"You're going to tell him that we're still alive?" Asked Chiana. "That's unacceptable, you do that he's going to definetly try and kill us. I am begging you - if you love me - you won't tell him!"  
D'argo had to tell John he had no choice, but he sighed and lied to Chiana. "Okay, I won't."  
"Love you sweety." Chiana said. "I better consume my oxygen."  
D'argo rolled his eyes as she commed out.


	14. Okay so it was a dream?

Paste your document here...D'argo walked into the Food quarters to find Aeryn and John feeding eachother. He pulled a face and a million thoughts of harming his two Moya crew mates now were filling his brain. He hated seeing that kind of thing on a ship. Especially when it came to both Aeryn and John, as they were constantly at it.  
"Don't mind me. I have come here on two accounts. Food and to alert you that Chiana and Rygel are not dead. They are alive, they escaped your bomb, or it rather didn't go off properly. Whatever she said." D'argo said as he picked at John's plate.  
John and Aeryn looked at eachother, quite surprised at what D'argo had just said. They were thinking the same thing. That bomb was in perfect condition, it should have killed Chiana and Rygel instantly. Another thought crossed John's mind - that meant Stark was alive too, if the bomb didn't detonate properly, which meant that sea horse was either with going to meet and rescue Chiana and Rygel and bring them back to Moya, or he was on his way on his own. John and Aeryn gave eachother that "look" of displeasure that their plan had failed.  
"Wow, that's just great, isn't it, there goes that peace and quiet we were all hoping to have!" Aeryn exclaimed dramatically by punding the table with her hand."Unacceptable. I guess we'll just have to shoot them when they attempt to come on board. Blow their heads off with your Wyona gun."  
"We could..." John said, his voice trailed off. He realized that killing his friends had been wrong. He wasn't sure what had come over him or what came over Aeryn. Quite in fact, he was questioning whether this was even real. He had to look at it from a third party. Exploding bombs in peoples bodies? Pilot homicidal? What could possibly be the reason behind that? It started not making sense to him.  
He looked at Aeryn. "Honey, I think this is , I think is some kind of mind game. Someone is messing with our head, or rather my head, because it's probably all about me again. No doubt."  
Aeryn looked at John with a look of displeasure, annoyed that he was debating with himself again. "Oh what is it now, Johnny Cash?"  
"See now I know this stuff is crazy! You don't even know Johnny Cash!" John screamed as he stood up. He turned to D'argo. "You can't be gay either, and you don't have a crush on me either. It's all in my head."  
"Shouldn't that be in my head?" D'argo asked as he snacked on a piece of cake-cuits. "And John calm down, you're freaking out because you're a cereal killer. Get it - you murdered cereals!"  
Aeryn and D'argo burst into a fit of uncontrollable laughter. AS they rolled on the floor snorting and laughing their assess off, John was having vision flash backs of Sikozu, Aeryn and Zhann. He saw them hovering over him and he saw himself tied to a chair and Sikozu screaming out something and hurrying off to get something. When he pulled out from the vision he found himself screaming and in the middle of the command hearing Aeryn calling out his name and shaking him to stop.  
"John! Stop, stop! What's wrong? Why did you run off from the food quarters? Why are you saying 'this isn't real', what's gotten into you?" Aeryn asked with a worried expression in her tone.  
John forwned and looked at Aeryn. "All our friends are dead, we killed them, there is no way we'd kill them for being annoying!"  
"But...It was your idea!" Aeryn sputtered out, unimpressed that John was acting scared and confused all of a sudden.  
"This is not real, Aeryn, not real. Not! We're not real. There is no relationship! Someone is doing this to us! Or to me!" John screamed as he got up, as he did, a massive sharp pain filled the right side of his temple lob. "Ahh!"  
"What's wrong now?" Asked Aeryn as she motioned for D'argo to come over to help her with John.  
"Pain, and not the good kind!" John screamed. "Someone is drilling something into my head and I can feel it, whatever it is!"  
D'argo just shook his head. "I think he's gone nuts."  
"Agreed." Aeryn smirked. "Let's get him back to quarters. Let him rest up."  
As they walked with John back to his quarters, he fell to the ground knocking his head hard onto the ground. His eyes open blankly as blood formed around his head.

"John?" A voice called. He knew that voice. It was Aeryn. He tried to open his eyes but he couldn't but he slowly stirred and made some noises to indicate that he heard her.  
He tried to move his arm, but it ached when he did. Aeryn gently put a hand on his shoulder. "Ow."  
"Yeah, don't try and move. The virus may be out of your system, it did do some damage though. Recovery, will be a bit of a process I'm afraid." Aeryn said as she sat beside him as Zhann was running more diagnostics on him in the med bay quarters.  
"What happened?" John asked, he hadn't opened his eyes yet but he was moving his head around. He began to slowly open his eyes. Wait a minute. He thought. I'm in med bay?  
"How and why am I here?" John asked, he looked at Zhann.  
"You don't remember?" Zhann asked exquisitely as she looked at him and then back at Aeryn.  
"I remember collapsing in the command post, and smashing my head on the ground, I remember seeing blood..." John said.  
Aeryn gave him a puzzled look and looked at Zhann. Zhann also gave a troubling look.  
"No, John. You contracted a virus , a very deadly and vicious virus that I have never seen before, when you stepped on the Lixton planet with D'argo to check out to see if any inhabitants would allow us to use their resources." Zhann explained. "Within the three arns you stepped on the planet your body began to show symptoms of a mutated virus."  
John gave her a puzzled look. Wow the virus messed with my head!. "Wow, so I've been in a coma all this time?"  
"Yes, pretty much. We nearly lost you on a couple occassions." Zhann said. "The type of virus you were infected with caused your bodily organs to immediate to shut down on their own at various stages. You lost your speech, hearing and then your physical movements as the virus progressed. When you relapsed into a coma, we thought you were going to die. As the virus was now infesting itself into your brain. But we eventually found a cure, after a lot of infighting about returning to the planet and place of origin."  
John was confused. He was so sure that the memory he had been implanted with was real. "So how come I don't remember any of it? I remember being on Moya and...and ..and well Aeryn and I killed everyone, except D'argo."  
Aeryn's eyes perked up when she heard that. "We did what?"  
Zhann smiled. "It was just a dream, John."  
"It felt really real. I mean for christ sake we killed Jool and then Zhann." John said as he tried to lift his head up as Zhann gave him some water to drink.  
"I can assure you John, that I am alive and not deceased." Zhann smiled. "I have yet to study as to why humans, why in sleep vegetative states after incidents such as yours believe the memories that you experienced in your dreams seem into your realitivy consciousness. Remarkable. And weird."  
"Yeah,we're kind of complicated like that." John muttered. "So, blue...how long am I to recover from this virus?"  
"It'll take half a cycle. Your brain has lost the basic functionality to improvise on body movement, it retained your speech memory, but Im afraid you will have to regain your other bodily functions through medical therapy." Zhann said, but she offered him a smile and gently put her hand on his face. "We'll be here to support you. Don't worry."  
"Wow, my mind is just so confused." John stated, as he tried to wrap his head around the idea, that what he had just been through was not real and that in fact the virus had did damage to his body that he didn't remember of.  
Aeryn looked at him. "Are you okay?"  
"I'm just a little bit confused as all." John said as he looked at her. "A bit tired too."  
"I'll let you get some rest." Aeryn said as she stood, taking John's reply a fact that he wanted to rest and make sense of what he had just gone through. She couldn't blame him though, his memory had been displaced and it made him confused and on edge.  
John looked at her with his eyes, studying her. "You don't have to go."  
"I think I better. I'll be back after. Get some rest." Aeryn instructed forcefully. Shen then quickly hurried out of the room leaving John staring after her.


	15. An ending is just an ending

John was sitting up in his bed in his quarters a week or so after the incident, pondering about the possibilities of what was real and wasn't and the kind of effect the virus had on his unconscious state. It was unlike anything he had ever seen or bared before. The virus itself had mutated and it atackied his mental capacity while he was in asleep as Zhann had discovered. It had locked onto Johns insecurities and worries about his friend, about Aeryn and the possibilities (endless of them) of how their relationship could be taken.

It was confusing him, but he was trying to make sense of it. Sitting in bed and barely able to move his legs and only moving them when Zhann and Jool came to take him for his physical therapy for the arn for a solar day.

John closed his eyes, was wondering if by some insane chance that his friends were all dead. It would be peaceful. No Chiana. No Jool. No girly fights. Just quietness. Him, Pilot and Aeryn.

"We need to talk." A familiar voice said.

John opened his eyes, and turned to see Rygel hovering beside him with a sleek and mischieve smile on his face. "Sparky? Whatchya want?"

"We need to discuss your will." Rygel said, being his rude usual anti-charming self. All he cared about was who's possessions he could get and since his luck with discussing of taking D'argo's possessions failed, he thought he'd be able to take advantage of John's physical disability and try his luck.

"My will?" John asked, smiling. "You're not getting my stuff buckweed. They're all going to my future kid. You can ask Aeryn. Since she'll be the mother."

"Oh really?" Rygel asked, quite suprised. "I think they'll be safer in my hands, then your kid."

"Rygel, please, I'm tired." John sighed. "When and if I die, and that'll be probably not in the next 60 cycles or so my stuff will go to my kids. I'm not leaving it to you."

"Why not?" Rygel demanded to know. "I've saved your penis. Don't I deserve some kind of compensation for that?"

John laughed. Rygel was using earth words in the wrong place, like Aeryn and it amused him. John knew he meant to say the word bacon or ass. "I think you mean bacon or ass."

Rygel shook his head and hovered out of the room. "I will not give up on getting your stuff, you are differently enabled now."

"Not for long, I'll be back to myself before you know it." John called out after him.

John rested his head on the pillow still smiling at the amazing conversation with Rygel. It felt good to be back in this reality.

THE END


End file.
